Birthday Biscuits

Some time ago the child and I experimented - unsuccessfully - with Butter Cut Out Biscuits (Domestic Goddess)

We followed the instructions to the letter - and yet the resultant dough was saltier than a salty thing dripping in sea water. I checked the recipe - yes, 1 tsp of salt. I checked the measuring spoon in the sink to check I hadn't accidentally used a tablespoon instead of a tea spoon - but no - all present and correct.

The biscuits and the remainder of the dough went straight in the bin and we moved on to rolling out recipes new - in every sense. But with a party to prepare for and requests for "cutting shapes mummy" we gave it another go. This time I added just half a teaspoon of salt and the results were perfect.

The tiddler and I rolled and cut and rolled and cut experimented with hearts, stars and numbers. Twelve minutes in the oven, a few minutes to cool and on with the decorating. For the sake of expedience I did the icing. The child was put in charge of sprinkles (100s and 1000s - huge mistake - they roll and bounce everywhere. Next time we'll try a slightly more tameable vermicelli variety).

Before the entire house got covered we instituted a dipping procedure (iced biscuit into sprinkle bowl and hey presto) although the child quickly discovered the joy of decorating her own sticky fingers (dip, lick, dip some more...carnage).




But by hook or by crook, the end product was delicious and much admired (plate of spares for mums and dads vanished so fast we got the insect spray out and went in search of a plague of locusts...) And better still - we've got more dough in the freezer to try it all again

Sweet Treats For A Happy Birthday

The child turned two last week. When we asked what she wanted for her birthday her answer was "a cake and a candle". How could mummy refuse?

We celebrated with a family tea on the day itself followed by a party for her friends at the weekend. I don't need much of an excuse (OK - I will use any excuse) to get the baking gear out so not surprisingly this presented me with an opportunity to really go to town.

First up the cake. The wee one loves monkeys so a monkey it had to be. I hummed and ha-ed between Nigella's Victoria Sponge and a tried-and-tested-so-much-I-can-do-with-my-eyes-shut one-bowl chocolate cake. The latter won on the basis that monkeys are brown...

So the cake itself was super simple to make. I trawled the net for piccies of monkey cakes til I found a couple I liked and based on those photos drew a template on a piece of A4. Sounds simple but you should bear in mind that I failed art O-level (yes, I am that old...) not once but twice. Whipped up chcolate fudge and regular buttercream icing then mixed the two together fot the lighter brown.

The cake making was interspersed around a vital Champions League tie, one that ended badly so at least making a monkey face provided some form of distraction and I managed to avoid getting tears of frustration in the icing. Instead I took out my angst on the ready-to-roll (black and white - used to make the eyes and surprisingly satisfying in terms of bashing)

On the big day itself the child received many amazing gifts but when asked what she had had for her birthday the reply was always the same - a monkey cake with candles. Bless.

I had been planning the cake for the party for - ooh - months on end. A farmyard scene with animal cupcakes (based on Nigella fairy cakes - natch) all around. The cupcakes did indeed come to fruition (and went down very well as going home gifts) but despite tinkering with varous designs for barns I never quite got what I wanted. So - last minute change of plan - a Peppa cake instead.

Given my ineptitude in the artistry department I found it surprisingly simple to make - though colouring the icing pink left my hands looking like I had single-handedly murdered at least a dozen people. Hey ho - the birthday girl and her friends all loved the result and I guess my hands will return to normal at some time in the near future.

Pancakes, Pans and Parenting...

Didn't get the chance to post this yesterday but better late than never...

Cold, wet and a Cup Final to go to. A proper breakfast is called for.

Luckily the bottomless jar of Instant Pancake Mix - see earlier post and/or (although preferably not 'or' now I come to think of it...) Nigella Express.

Give the jar is essentially filled with 600g flour and you use 150g a time, even non mathematicians such as myself will not have too much trouble in working out that is four lots of pancakes. Except this particular jar seems to have gone on for ever. Mind you - why would I complain about that?!

The reason I am revisiting this recipe is twofold:

1) when Nigella says use whole or semi skimmed milk, it is possibly advisable to use whole or semi-skimmed milk. Except we had run out and as I had already got the egg in the bowl and the whisk in my hand I wasn't going to let such details thwart my lust for fluffy pancakes. And to be fair, skimmed is not a total disaster - just makes it all a little limp.

2) no matter how tired please pay attention to your cookware. Foolishly grabbed the first pan I found, not clocking it was the casualty of the mirin salmon debacle (see previous). Even though it has been utterly and throughly cleaned it clearly harbours a grudge for within seconds the house stank of the ghost of aforementioned fish and this is not an ideal accompaniment to maple syrup. Had to start all over again with a friendlier skillet...

The baby rubbed her hands with glee at the thought of a breakfast that didn't involve Hovis or Shreddies but was strangely reticent when it came to tucking in (yes, yes, the salmony reek probably played its part)

A little psychology soon solved that though - "I bet you can't get the pancake on mummy's big girl fork...wow...you are so clever" repeated until the plate was clean.

Delicious and warming though the repast may have been at the time, within minutes of arriving at Wembley I was frozen solid (indeed, I am only now regaining sensation in my toes). I was also ravenous and having mislaid my essential football-match Fruitellas before they had even been opened, rued the frying pan debacle that cost me that extra serving of brekkie.

But hey - we won. And what a great afternoon it was. And the jar still isn;t empty! So hey Mr Rooney - my next batch is for you

More Fairy Cakes

Yes, yes, I know we've got these covered already - but as a rainy day activity what better than these little spongey treats? ("more mixing mummy").

Pop them in the oven ("Ot, 'ot - burn your wingers" (we sometimes have trouble with the letter 'f'!)) then slather in white chocolate butter cream and go to town with the Barbie sprinkles.

A little too rich for small folk (shame eh? all the more for mummy...) but she was easily placated with a more suitable alternative so all's well that ends well...

Victoria Sponge (with a 'helping' hand)

"Come to our tea party" said a good friend.

"I'll bring a cake" I replied, conveniently forgetting my free time is currently in overdraft and finding the time to do baking would mean bumping the 101 other more urgent tasks even further down the to-do list.

But hey - no surprise that I didn't take too much convincing to forgo Tesco and laundry in favour of floury delights.

What to make? No time for pontification - ingredients for Victoria Sponge all present and correct - so Victoria Sponge (Domestic Goddess) it was

The wee un volunteered her services but I soon learned that babies are absolute rubbish when it comes to creaming butter and sugar to a mouse like consistency. Thanks heavens for the Kitchen Aid...


Fancied something different for the filling: not keen on cream (and nor is my host) so whipped up a white chocolate buttercream and studded it with juicy fresh raspberries.

The photo doesn't do its majesty justice (alas courtesy of a mobile phone) but suffice to say - all (guests) impressed and all (cake) devoured with relish.

Rich and calorific - yes - but then surely that's the point of good old English afternoon tea?

How I Destroyed My Pan Collection (Part 2)

Once again my pursuit of the perfect oriental salmon has cost me dear

This time Mirin Glazed (Nigella Express)

Ludicrously simple to make: mirin, soy and soft brown sugar (which within minutes of opening the bag always seems to become rock hard brown sugar and a right bugger to decant without coating the rest of the kitchen in fine muscovado scented particles...but I digress). Slosh the salmon around for a few minutes and cook, adding some rice vinegar to the sauce at the end. How could that possibly go wrong...?

By doubting the great sage is the easy answer.

The method clearly states that one should cook the salmon for 2 mins on each side but being an infidel - albeit a fleeting one - I thought that didn't sound very much and went for 3 mins instead. Result - well depends who you ask...husband said 'burnt to a cinder' though I preferred the more poetic "heavily char grilled". Semantics perhaps, but add the sticky sauce factor to the overcooking and another pan past its prime.

It is worth noting that the bits that were still edible were delicious - so much so that I made it again, following the instructions to the letter and using an old and slightly unloved pan just in case. And as is the way of such things, this hardware lives to fight another day...

My dinner was too delicious for words. Husband's raw in the middle. I assure you - and him - that this was not deliberate on my part and now I guess I just have to hope it will be third time lucky

Teething and a Dinner Party...

My inclination towards domestic goddess-hood has been severely impaired by the baby's dentistry - namely the molars that are causing her untold misery and bother (we were lucky with the rest - hardly any hassle at all - and now it is pay back time...)

So what do you do when you have had no sleep for a week, are so tired that you can't remember your own phone number and have even stopped eating toast cos frankly heating up the bread is way too much effort? That's right - you throw a dinner party.

Cursing the gene that is scientifically known as the "if you are going to do something you may as well do it properly" chromosome it was an all-out assault on the kitchen. And this was a tricky ask...

Six people - two veggies (proper no fish veggies), one person who doesn't eat cheese, one person who doesn't eat fruit or nuts in savoury dishes, one person who doesn't eat ginger or cinnamon, one person who is allergic to peppers...takes some planning let me tell you.

A simple starter seemed the best way forward - a platter of halloumi, vine leaves, hummous, pitta etc

For the main course a recipe I have been meaning to make forever but as it's something that serves 6-8 and is not easily altered had been hitherto untried...


Pretty easy to make - nothing more arduous than a load of stirring. Past practice in the art of filo made the assembly relatively unstressful too. And it looks way more impressive than it ought to so lots of 'oohs' and 'aahs' and even a 'wow' (though wasn't sure whether the astonishment displayed by guest was a genuine compliment or more of a 'blimey, who'd have thought it?'). Make of it what you will...

Off piste (in Nigella terms) for the accompaniments: Ottolenghi chargrilled brocolli salad, a green bean and sesame salad and a nifty combo of roasted new potatoes, butternut squash, sweet potato and cherry tomato. And not a morsel remained.

Desert - and the trusty apple crumble (as per previous post) plus Chocolate Raspberry Tarts (Domestic Goddess again...)

The latter was possibly the bridge too far, the straw that broke this very tired camel;'s back. Looked great, tasted good - but not enough to warrant the time and effort that were already in short supply and ended up in overdraft.

The chocolate pastry was easy enough to make (by hand) but incredibly short - and so by the time it had chilled in the fridge it was more like a big rock-hard lump of crumbliness, rather than a dough you had any hope of rolling. Disloyally perhaps, I recalled a Jamie trick of cutting and pressing slices into the little tins which worked pretty well. But then there was freezing the cases for 30 mins, then baking, then cooling, then filling - all around bath and bedtime and lots of comforting cuddles and teething powders. ..

Went my own way on the filling (when did I ever follow a recipe to the letter?) and mixed melted milky bar with marscapone which was so delicious had eaten half of it before it got near the tarts. One tip - keep at room temperature for while before serving otherwise it's not quite as soft and sumptuous as it should be...

Anyway - lots more wows, replete and happy guests - and another long, long night. We're back on the butties for a while...